1) i feel demoralized whenever i see my pay-slip. Not that i’m greedy, but its seriously not enough when i have to settle study debts and family allowance. This amount would be sufficient if i’m using it alone. according to my control sheet, 80% of my monthly salary is being spent within 20% of the days in the month, thus leaving me with miserable savings. colleagues and staffs kept asking me not to give up on you, spend more money to groom myself and pamper you. at this situation, i dont think i’m able to achieve.

2) Daddy admitted to hospital this morning 2am. i hate my inability to give him a more efficient medical service.

Once again, i’m being straddled in this “money is king” issue. daddy is in critical condition… i sent him to A&E 2am this morning and waited till 5am until he persuaded me to go home to sleep. i was reluctant to go home, but i gave  in in order to appease him. doctor says will operate on him ASAP as he is in critical condition. what does ASAP mean? what does “Accicident & Emergency” means when he has to stay in the ICU with tubes all over him and groaning in pain for more than 18 hrs and yet the doctor has yet attend to him?

down to earth, its the money issue… we could not afford private hospitals and thus have to go thru these sufferings. I hate this!!

我又食言了，九月已过去了，但我还没能够把你放下。。。怎么办？

难道只有狠心的男人，才比较受欢迎？

fuck it… knowing i would get anything in reply, i just whack it anyway…
*i’m still hoping to get some reply from you*
even if it is a rejection, at least there’s some response.

workload getting tough. my upper study has promoted… leaving me behind to take the lead.
I have more power now, i can grab any worker and screw them and yet they dared not say a word. but more responsibilities and more work. so much so that i dont even have the time for a coffee break. with everything else increasing, my pay does not increase… to think that i’m still a trainee and yet i’m being thrown into the jungle for my own survival…

Fortunately tertiary education plays a part. not in terms of the stuffs i’ve learnt in school, but the same status and level of frequency with engineers in the client company. this enable me to entertain and negotiate better terms with them.

没原因 就是喜欢你
在初次相遇 有重逢的心情
深呼吸 让心动隐形
完美的爱情 是无声的旋律

听 我听你 不确定的语气
等 我等你 放下你的犹豫
嘿 如果你 轻轻闭上眼睛
我会明白 你做的决定

Cause I Believe
那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心 会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静 就让我的心安静地守着你
祝福不用回音

没原因 就是喜欢你
就像海眷恋 天空般 的心情
你前进 看着你背影
就足够世界 无条件 的放晴

你 如果已 爱上他的姓名
爱 如果已 没有我的空隙
嘿 只要你 可以永远开心
我会情愿 渐渐被忘记

Cause I Believe
那幸福不灭的定律
在你手心 会有谁给你的美丽
静者恒静 就让我的心安静地守着你
把祝福送给你

Oh~ I believe
Cause I believe
那幸福不灭的定律
你的手心 不一定要由我握紧
就像恒星 总会有发光的原因

Oh~ I believe
你值得被珍惜
也值得我放弃