for unknown reasons, i became so afraid of death. and never had i thought about what will happen after i died. but during the last few hours, i realised i have not lived enough. dont get it wrong, i’m not having sucidal thoughts… just that the thought of death came into my mind. maybe its due to the disasters happening these few years, the tsunami, the cyclone and the great earthquake. i realised life is so precious… and it not only belongs to us only. it belongs to the people who cared about us, ie: our friends, and most importantly our family.

i’m going to be under knife on 17 june 2008 to remove the metal implants in the little finger of my right hand. This time round, i will be under local anaesthesia, which means i will be awake while the surgeon is working on my hand!! what the fuck… the thought of it is terrible… i really admired the legendary Guan Yu, who is able to tolerate the kind of pain without any anaesthesia.

my back isnt getting any better as well. at times, it hurts from the buttocks all the way down to my knee. *shakes head* and worse of all after seeing so many physicians, theres still no clue of what is going on. i feel like having a body of 50 years old now…

i mentioned about my FYP project during the previous post. my supervisor requires me to submit a writeup of pages with 20 references. which means during this holiday, i’ll have to spend my time reading and reading… i hate to read!! argh…

MB107: singapore business law, the last module of my minor. i enjoyed every single minute of the lecture (except for a CBK who asks irrelevant questions most of the time which in turn causes our lesson to be overtime) . however when i tried to read the textbook, i fell asleep. i really took my hats off the lecturer.for such a dry and boring module (singapore law!! how interesting can it be?), he can bring laughter to the class. exams for this module is on 11 june, one day before the birthday of yours truly. i really hope this auspicious date can really bring me some luck for the exam.

I’m feel ill, the feeling of flu + cough + fever seems to be back again and i have to work on saturday and sunday!!! and during this holiday period, it is difficult to find a replacement. i dont want to be working while i’m sick!!!

i’m feeling very tired… slept till 12 pm and was late for my project meeting. i felt that my fitness level dropped tremondously. my thighs are stiff, my ankles are aching… i guess its due to the soccer game on monday. i used to be able to handle more than these. just few months back while i’m having my attachment, i worked on a 5 days week. on top of that, i am able to train taekwondo on wed night, drinking session on thursday night, play soccer on fri night, dragonboat on sat morning, taekwondo on sat night and go to work in swimming pool on sunday afternoon. thats how “enriching” my life is during my industrial attachment and i enjoyed doing them. i missed all these…

All these activities stopped after i went back for studies. during the past 4 months were rather hectic and i’m flooded with lots of projects. assignments, quizes and tutorials. gratefully, all these are over.

Finally got my FYP project. its on “Property study of non-chalcogenide phase change materials for optical media”. the term “optical media” refers to the CD, DVDs which we normally sees. purpose of the project is to study the materials used in the media and hopefully find out better substitute which has a better storage capacity and overwrite capability. sounds chim??? lol thats what university education is all about – making simple things complicated… and if they can’t convince you, they’ll confuse you…

1 more month before my ippt window closes and i know it clearly that i’m unfit for it. heres a chronological events of my medical status:

sept 2007:
i got a broken finger due to a sparring practice during my taekwondo practice. surgury + physiotherapy + recovery took me about two months. according to the specialist, the power of our grip depends on our last finger and right now, i dont feel my last finger as strong and flexible anymore.

feb 2008:
due to some unknown reasons, i experienced pain on my hip joint which sometimes spread down to my knees. this have been persisting for almost 4 months and during these period, i have visited various physicians, from the family GP to TCM doctors. all of them gave me different replies. the GP said it was just a strain and prescribed me pain killers and muscle rub. the TCM doctor says it is due to nerve impingement, and asked me to come back for repeated acupunture treatment which i dont feel any better. right now, i’m waiting for a specialist appointment which is 1 month away.

since i still feeling uncomfortable in my hip, i decided to call up mindef to enquire whether i can be excused from this coming ippt window. an operator picked up the line
me: hi i would like to enquire how can i excuse myself from my ippt this year?
operator: you need to call up your unit and make an appt with the unit MO for a health check
me: but i dont know which is my unit as i have deferred ICT due to my studies
operater: in that case, u can get your doctor to write a report and get back to me so that i can arrange for you
me: but i have no time for these. so how long would it take?
operator: 5-6 working days…
me: okie… thank you

its such an hassle to go through all these… since i am in IHL and thus exempted from RT if i fail my ippt, i decided to give it a try. who knows, i might even pass with one leg limping… :p

Manchester United – CHAMPIONS OF ENGLAND!!!! & EUROPE to be…

I’m feeling happy for man-u for winning their 10th premiership title. and hopefully the champions league title as well :p

I saw this funny trend on last friday’s newpaper regarding la liga and EPL…

2001
EPL Champions: Man United
La Liga Champions: Real Madrid

2002
EPL Champions: Arsenal
La Liga Champions: Valencia

2003
EPL Champions: Man United
La Liga Champions: Real Madrid

2004
EPL Champions: Arsenal
La Liga Champions: Valencia

2005
EPL Champions: Chelsea
La Liga Champions: Barcelona

2006
EPL Champions: Chelsea
La Liga Champions: Barcelona

2007
EPL Champions: Man United
La Liga Champions: Real Madrid

2008
EPL Champions: Man United?????????
La Liga Champions: Real Madrid

noticed the trend? when real madrid wins la liga, man-u wins; when valencia wins, arsenal wins and; when barcelona wins, chelsea wins. According to this trend, real madrid won the la liga for this season. Amazingly, Man-u won the EPL champions last night. amusing??? haha

hardly had a sunday where i’m so free… usually i have training in the morning and work after that. i dont have to work today… i’m losing the interest of being the lifeguard. its a mandane job where i dont find any challenge… even thougth a good part of it is that there are bikini girls to be seen, but still, i dont find any life in it… i’m doing it just for the sake of money.
up till now, i’m still loss about what i’m going to do in future. one part of my heart tells me i should go to “where the money lies” thus i’m so obsessed in jobs related to banks. however deep inside, i knew i’m not the cut for that as i’m a technical person.
doing a Phd? my grades are not good enough for it.
sometimes i admired my friends for being having their spending power…
chang yong owns a car at 22 and earning a monthly of 10k
yii rui is an army regular and is planning to get a car soon
chuan hoe is having his own business selling shirts and accessories
shiying is working in KPMG as auditor
and there are many whom i can list…
so… what am i doing down here???
people have been telling me “bear with it, u’ll earn bigger bucks when u graduated.”
is it really the truth? i asked around during my internship, a 1st class honours working in ExxonMobil (supposely one of the higher paid in the field of my study) earning $2800 per month where some of my friends who have no degree are already earning above that sum. on top of that, i still have debts to clear…
confused…