What is happiness?

One day, the young lion asked his mom: “Mom, where is the happiness?”
Mom replied: “It’s on your tail.”
So the young lion keeps on chasing after his tail. But after a whole day of trying, he failed to get the happiness that was on his tail.
Then he told his mom about this, his mom smiled and said: “Son, you don’t really need to chase after your happiness, as long as you keep going and moving forward, your happiness will always be with you.”

The lucky guy

The lucky guy

Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.
Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, “Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot.”
The second man married a telephone operator.
Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, “Wow, he`s one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom.”
The third man married a school teacher.
Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, “Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid.”

At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher`s husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn`t call until much later in the day.
The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse`s husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man`s pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
“Sir, what happened?” asked Jeff. “You married a nurse.”
“Son, don`t ever marry a nurse,” the man sourly replied. “All I heard last night was Her nagging voice saying, `You`re not sanitary, you`re not sanitary`.”

The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator`s husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man`s hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.
“What happened?” Jeff asked with surprise. “Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices.”
“Son, don`t ever marry a telephone operator,” the man groaned. “All I heard last night was Her nasal voice saying, `Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up`.”
Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teacher`s husband would be calling at any moment.

Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher`s husband called for breakfast.
Jeff couldn`t believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple`s room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.
“My goodness sir, what happened to you?” Jeff asked, fearing the worst. “Did you have a fight?”
The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, “No. Son, when you marry be sure it`s to a school teacher. All I heard last night was Her sexy, smooth voice saying, `We`re going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right`.”

lucky indeed *Grins*

one day before MS4030 exam…

in the midst of studying the topic on engineering ethics where corruption is not tolerated, i somehow though of such a joke where i read it in talkingcock.com a long time ago…
Dr. Mahathir was about to send the first Malaysian rocket into space.

3 potential astronauts were called for an interview – one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.

Dr. M interviews the Indian first: “So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission… how much do you think you should be paid for it?”

Muthu thinks to himself and says, “1 million ringgit.”
“Why so much?” asks Dr. M.
“Nowadays toddy wery expensive, Datuk…” replies Muthu.
“I see,” said Dr. M. “Thank you… please ask the Malay guy to come here.”

So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
“Uh… 2 million boleh lah,” replies the Malay applicant.
“2 million? That’s a lot of money! Even the aneh before you only asked for one million!”
“You see, Datuk,” explained Mat. “I have 4 wives and 15 children…so, 20 of us in the family, we need a lot of money to support ourselves…”
“I see,” said Dr. M. “Okay, can you ask the Chinese guy to come up here now?”

The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, “Ah Chong, this is a dangerous mission… how much do you think you should be paid?”
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and suddenly says, “3 million.”
Mahathir is shocked. “WHAT?!?! 3 million? Why so much?!”
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer, and whispers, “One million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send the aneh into space.”

Handsome suits!@

its quite some time since the last entry. coming to the end of final semester of my 4 year university life and the last few papers are in less than 2 weeks time. yet i have not start to do anything abt it. serves me right if i did badly… most of my friends had got their engine started and busy mugging in sch… and yet my engine is somehow stalled… cant get it started… like what i like to say “the initial is too great to be overcomed”…
back to the title of the post. just caught the movie “handsome suit”  in GV plaza (yes right… i know exam is in less than 2 weeks time)

(source: http://gabuchan.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/handsome-suits1.jpg)
jiawei’s review: 5 popcorns + thumbs up
no kidding… i was laughing 80% throughout the show…its funny, touching, pretty japanese girl and meaningful which taught us a lesson not to look at just the external. and it has a surprise ending (though i already guessed it in the middle of the show).  however one thing i picked up form the show is that sometimes we are spending too much time envying others and trying to be ahead of everyone… so much so that we forgotten that being ourselves is the most happiest thing we can have.
infact, it sends a message to a few kinds of people out there:
Ugly guys: life is cruel, life is harsh.. accept what you have, and enjoy the simple pleasures around you.
Normal guys: observe the facial expressions of some girls when an ugly guy accidently knocked onto her on the bus… (i’ve seen quite a number of times)
and for girls: take note of your own reactions when an ugly guy knocked onto you on the bus or MRT train… would it be different if the guy was a handsome one???
its strongly recommend by jiawei.. and i’m gonna buy its DVD when its out… 😡

no more IPPT…

as of 26 March 2009,
“You are ineligible for IPPT due to current PES status (i.e. Pes C2 and below). “

IPPT, an annual event most dread by singaporean guys. 6 months of Remedial Training if they cant pass the annual IPPT. As one gets older, its harder to pass due to aging and the reduced frequency of physical training. I’m now fully excused from IPPT, envied by many other guys of my age.
However, i feel otherwise. if i have the choice, i would rather be taking this dreaded IPPT every year and have a physically fit body than being excused from it due to spinal injury…
sigh…

3 answers most feared by men…

(1)Whatever
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..

Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don’t want, eat steamboat later got pimples on my face

Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?

Men: Hmm….. I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood not good also, later I might got diarrhea

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

(2)Anything

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything

Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn’t watch movie
Women: Watching movie not good, waste time only

Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? Don’t u feel tired?

Men: Then we find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep

Men: So, what you suggest then?
Women: Anything!!!

(3)You decide
Men: Then we just go home lo
Women: You decide

Men: Let’s take a bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don’t want la

Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it la… for such a short distance

Men: Alright, then we walk lo. Take a slow walk
Women: So hungry, empty stomach how to walk?

Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide

Men: Let’s have dinner first
Women: Whatever…

Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting

Upgrading…

Personally, i feel upgrading ourselves is important. at every stage of life, we must attain something new, else ourtime is wasted.
look back at the past 6 months, what have you attained? completed a new module, picked up a new skill? iguess while schooling, we are constantly upgrading. however, when we started to work, most of us are so comfortable in our position that our upgrading stops.
we walk into the office, do the same things everyday, partying aft work, and drop dead on bed… wakes up the next morning, the same things happened again.. just like de jar vu… and after 6 mths, u realised u have not learnt anything new… if thats the case, its time to do something…
to have 5 years of genuine experience? or having just one yr of experience but repeating it for 5 years?? u choose…

The Cow, the ox and the new economy

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and bought a baby bull.
Nurse and feed it well;
They mate, your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You invest & kept the gains into the country reserve,
You sell them and everyone retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You mortgage both of them to the bank & obtain investment for two more
cows,
Then re-mortgage the investment the four cows for eight cows and continue
to do likewise,
The financial market was flooding with mortgages & investments in cow’s
assets,
No one knows where & who owned the original 2 cow’s …… ?
Then these 2 original cows grew old & eventually died,
You are surprised when there’s No Asset to back up the mortgage or repay
the loan ???
Finally, You ask the govt to bail out the collapse financial cow’s
market!

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called ‘Cowkimon’ and market
them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch..

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them..
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the
supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and
now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that
comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

And last but not least,

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
One “cow-peh” and one “cow-bu”.

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When the driver is a she…

a video shared by a friend on facebook 😡
i find somewhat interesting.. 😡 no offence girls.. :p